Is Self-Justification and Self-Rationalization Equal To Truth?

The question, as it stands, is legitimate if for no other reason than truth is abstract. Truth is not complete facts, just the facts as we know them, or rather, choose to believe them. Yes, I am getting to a point here, so bear with me. A completely heterosexual male may meet and become attracted to any given female on any given day. If the male likes her well enough, he will pursue a relationship with her. If, during the course of their courtship, the female discloses she is actually a hermaphrodite, and the male accepts this of her, is their continued romance equivalent to a homosexual relationship? Obviously, the female has no control over how she was born, and the fact that she has lived her life as a female states how she identifies herself in terms of gender. The male, however...His acceptance of the female is based solely on how he perceives her--which is how she perceives herself--thus he is not categorized as homosexual. If the female's penis raises in the male a "Bi-curious" feeling, would exploring that necessarily make him homosexual? Is he, in fact, committing a homosexual act by simple virtue of the fact that he wishes to sate his sexual curiosity of the penis? This is touch and go in that even though the penis is on the female, it is still a penis; yet hermaphrodites do not have a clitoris. Why is this? What, exactly, is a clitoris? It is the remnant of a penis. With that fact exposed, are all males who perform oral sex on a female secretely fulfilling a desire to perform oral sex on a male, or phallys of any kind? Does the fact that one may prefer a larger clitoris to one more miniscule prove that individual has tendencies greater than another? My point is, we call a clitoris a clitoris and a penis a penis when the fact is they are one in the same. So, is the male who wishes to perform oral sex on the hermaphrodite's penis committing a homosexual act? Is he fulfilling a homoerotic fantasy by doing so? Does he justify this by classifying things as I have just stated? Self-rationalization and self-justification are the keys to answering this. His truth may say no, and someone else's may say yes. Take this a step further. Same scenario: Man meets a wonderful woman, yet this woman discloses she is M2F Pre-op Transgender. The man decides he will continue dating her anyway. If she chooses to live her life as a woman, and he chooses to accept her as a woman, is she not a woman? During sex, is the clitoris/penis issue really an issue? Yes, she does not have a vagina, but she has what is referred to as a penis and can be referred to as an extremely large clitoris. Does the mindset of the male play a factor in this, does HIS truth mean anything, or do we judge him by what society says should and shouldn't be? The bottom line is this: We live in a world where love...Real, true, honest acceptance of two people..is a rare thing. Allow those who find happiness to keep their happiness. Our truths matter so very little where other's lives are concerned.