The Post-Parental Phase of Human Development: Exploring the "Empty Nest" Syndrome

The Post-Parental Phase of

Human Development:

Exploring the “Empty Nest”

Syndrome

An Essay

By

Duncan S. Jackson

            The term “Empty Nest” originates not so much from a viewpoint of child(ren) leaving the

home but how the parents—more specifically the mother—reacted to the end of an era when her

life was defined by her role as child bearer and primary caregiver (Raup and Meyers, 1989). Fur-

thermore, the “sexist and ageist attitudes” perpetuated by society’s penchant for “barnyard lan-

guage” in reference to women (“birds,” “chicks,” “gossiping biddies,” and “old hens”) may have

lent credence to the ideology that only women suffered through this loss of their children (Oliver,

1982). Further investigation into these two fallacies has shown that not only are both parents af-

fected by the moving out and moving on of their children (psychologytoday.com), but the empty

nest syndrome generally comes at a time in the parents’ lives when other psychological issues

are prevalent and in need of address.

            Social and medical clinicians tend to agree that the term “mid-life” as it applies to hu-

mans can be defined as individuals between forty and sixty years of age. During this period we

see a myriad of changes come about in adults, the chief of which being menopause in women

and the midlife crisis in men. Menopause marks the end of an era for women in that they see

what defines them most as a woman—the ability to give birth—no longer characterizing their

existence. Rampant hormonal changes that bring on hot flashes aside, women must deal with

pre—, peri—, and postmenopausal depression as well as certain mood disorders. The midlife cri-

sis, first introduced by Elliot Jaques in 1965, tends to characterize men who revert to not so

much a second childhood, but a period in their past when they were free of the responsibility of

raising a family. A certain kind of compensation comes into play during this period as we see

particular cases of men ignoring their familial obligations, at times substituting faster cars, tren-

dier clothes, and a promiscuous nature (in effect, adopting a narcissistic demeanor) for the stabil-

ity their home life offers. He will find justification for these actions, even to the point of ration-

alizing the most illogical of choices he has made so he can continue to feed his newly reemerg-

ing ego. The term “Social Darwinism” has been used to explain adverse behavior to the point

of reverting to more brutish and/or ignorant tendencies, but I offer “Social Freudism” in its stead

where the midlife crisis is concerned as the individual’s subconscious seems once again to be

locked in battle, the immediate satisfaction of the Id struggling against the rationale of the Ego,

only the ego is all-too willing to give in.

            The introduction of the empty nest at this point in the parents’ lives serves only to add to

what other psychological and physiological changes may be making themselves manifest. Par-

ents struggling with the absence of their children from their everyday lives must find newer ways

to connect or reconnect with other loved ones or even life itself. Throwing oneself into his or her

work will serve only to distance him or her from their loved ones, just as smothering those who

remain will not compensate for the feelings of incompleteness left by the other. We spend twenty

years of our lives preparing our children for the world, yet when it is time to let go we try in vain

to hold on, even if for one more day. If the parent(s) has raised the child to be courteous and res-

pectful, knowledgeable of the world into which he or she is going, and with an overall sense of

good ethics and morals, I feel it is a sure bet that even though the actual nest is empty, the hearts

and minds of the parents will remain filled to capacity through their remaining years.